In the last 10 years a new word came to be used that finally brought attention to the emotional impact of how birth is experienced…

Matrescence - referring to the psychological birth of a mother, similar to adolescence, involving hormonal and identity shifting.

At Mother Earthed, I believe that there are more subtle layers to the experience that others don’t see… with birth also being a spiritual journey… a journey of souls and a journey that is evolutionary for a woman.

During your 9 months (plus or minus) you will not only experience obvious physical changes, immense changes will be happening below the surface. Changes in your DNA, changes in your energy field, changes in consciousness and in your brain as it declutters and rewires itself to literally upgrade you to allow another life to move through you and for you to step into your new role as a nurturer and guardian.

This is the birth of you as a mother, with knew layers of self-understanding, awareness and knowing.

Yes it’s intense (as all transformation is), but when you are nourished, aligned (body, mind and spirit), and have the support around you to hold you when you need a boost, the process is not just doable, it’s powerful beyond anything you could ever imagine.

And no one should tell you how to do it. Not even me. I will not be telling you how to give birth. I will, however, be opening your eyes to the power of your body and the process, so that you can do it in the way that feels deeply right for you. I read a beautiful quote once that said:

“The truth comes in pieces, pieces you have to put together to see the bigger picture”

In making the decision to prepare for an informed and holistic pregnancy and birth you already on a deep level believe this and what is achievable. You already have a vision. Let’s nurture that. I look forward to guiding you through this evolution of yourself as a woman, and your family. 

I am, as you know, available for calls. And please don’t be shy to pop any thoughts and questions in an email to me or in the Mother Earthed Village facebook group. Nothing is taboo here. And there is no such thing as a stupid question. The more informed you are, the more satisfying and transformative this experience will be. 

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF THIS journey

Feelings of greater peace and reduced anxiety during your pregnancy
Greater confidence in, and appreciation for, your body
Feelings of being tuned in to your body and your baby
Increased energy
Reduced need for intervention during birth. Heavily meditated rather than medicated 
Lower chance of perineal tearing or pelvic issues following birth
Easier bonding between you and your baby (for your partner too).
Breastfeeding will be more easily established
Happy mom, happy partner, happy baby, happy siblings… happy family

The Key

Take it one day at a time, appreciating the moments of connection that each day offers you, and acknowledging the moments that feel tough. Every day, embrace the growth of that moment, visualise your birth and use the daily practices, exercises and meditations to move you in that direction. 

Be open to the journey that this pregnancy is taking you on. 

First Trimester

It’s Spring baby!

While it may not literally be Spring where you are living, as a woman who has has just conceived, you are indeed in a springtime of womanhood… the beginning of embodying the fertility goddess. While you might already be dreaming of the future, enjoy this foundational time in which so much is buzzing beneath the surface. The spark of life has been lit, cells are dividing and, during the first 8 weeks, the roots of your placenta are finding their way to secure this growth. Be gentle with yourself as your journey of co-creation begins.

Remember, this pregnancy will only drain you if you are not nurturing yourself and being nurtured.

Co-creation:

Co-creation is essentially a process where two beings work together, informing each other in a way that advances not only each other, but the species as a whole. In your pregnancy, your body will be nurturing and educating the growth of your baby. At the same time, your baby will be informing and upgrading your system in its own ways, which we will look at during the course.

Beautiful facts:

If you are pregnant with a girl, her little body will already be forming her own eggs for her own potential motherhood journey. It is therefore no myth that a grandmother’s prayers are always with you.

Studies have found that if you are pregnant with a boy, he sends stem cells through the placenta to you to repair any part of you that needs support. Those cells will remain a part of you forever.

It’s Spring baby!

While it may not literally be Spring where you are living, as a woman who has has just conceived, you are indeed in a springtime of womanhood… the beginning of embodying the fertility goddess. While you might already be dreaming of the future, enjoy this foundational time in which so much is buzzing beneath the surface. The spark of life has been lit, cells are dividing and, during the first 8 weeks, the roots of your placenta are finding their way to secure this growth. Be gentle with yourself as your journey of co-creation begins.

Remember, this pregnancy will only drain you if you are not nurturing yourself and being nurtured.

Co-creation:

Co-creation is essentially a process where two beings work together, informing each other in a way that advances not only each other, but the species as a whole. In your pregnancy, your body will be nurturing and educating the growth of your baby. At the same time, your baby will be informing and upgrading your system in its own ways, which we will look at during the course.

Beautiful facts:

If you are pregnant with a girl, her little body will already be forming her own eggs for her own potential motherhood journey. It is therefore no myth that a grandmother’s prayers are always with you.

Studies have found that if you are pregnant with a boy, he sends stem cells through the placenta to you to repair any part of you that needs support. Those cells will remain a part of you forever.

Dealing with other discomfort

I deeply believe that any discomfort experienced ever, during pregnancy or after, is a nudge from your body to pay attention to something. Social conditioning has led to pregnant women to either think “oh it’s just pregnancy” or leap into full panic mode. Neither are useful. Any time discomfort comes up, ask your body what it’s trying to tune you into.

SECTIONS IN FIRST TRIMESTER

1. Soul Connection

2. The partner’s journey

3. Savouring pregnancy

4. Affirmations - I need to do a talk on this.

5. When’s the due date? - The moment you begin to tell friends and family you are pregnant, this will without doubt be the first question you receive. While, in the excitement it may feel wonderful to give people a specific date now, be aware that everyone asking “is he/she here yet!” closer to the time might not be what you want. One way to take that pressure off yourself is to simply tell people that “our special addition will be arriving sometime in the month of ______”. Please read the blog The Low Down on Due Dates to understand how a due date is calculated.

6. Meditations -

   Explore the following meditations in the meditation space as ways to connect with your body and your baby.

   Blossoming Body Scan.

   Connect with your baby meditation.

   Daily grounding meditation.

   Moving meditation.

7. Finding your tribe - While you may have already seen your trusted OBGYN for your first check, or will have gone with someone recommended by friends and family, remember that the team you surround yourself with your birth should not be taken lightly. It is not only acceptable, but advisable that you interview a few to find one who you connect well with and know will genuinely be on board with your vision. You are free to change your care provider at any point in your pregnancy.

   See choosing your tribe for more guidance with this.

8. Movement

   Kegels?? No! Squats.

ALIGNED, EMBODIED, AWAKE

Begins now. not at the end. Many people assume alignment means getting your back knocked into place. While that is one part of this, albeit an important one, alignment is a constant mind, body, soul process. Each day things are going to pull you out of it and you need to be able to come back to centre, The more you can do this the effortless it will be in birth. When it comes to D-day, when Source delivers, you will be swept up in the ride. FLOW

My Religion is Peace

Meditation.

Close your eyes, breathe. Tell yourself that your religion is peace. My baby grows in peace. We radiate peace.

Meditation - body scan

Shine a spotlight on it. Breathe into it and send love to it and watch if it fades away with that intention. Do I need hydration? Do I need to nourish myself more. Extreme pain should be investigated, but do it calmly with intention instead of allowing panic to flood your system.

Soul Connection

One of the most frequent questions I get from mothers is: “Do you have a short version of your course. I am really busy and am not sure how I will fit this in.”

My answer each time is this: “No, there is no abridged guide to pregnancy, birth and motherhood.” There are two reasons:

1. Learning to honour yourself and your soul journey now will be the greatest gift you can give your child/children. You cannot guide your children on their unique journeys of self- and soul-actualisation if you are not exploring and fulfilling your own.

2. Understanding that you have been chosen to be the home for a new soul to arrive and make an impact, makes it easy to see that a “crash course” would mean taking a shortcut on a path Mother Nature fully intended you to witness. Whether this path is a full nine months or not, she asks you to witness it and experience it with love.

For centuries western women believed that they were simply incubators for little blank canvases, connected simply by an umbilical cord and a placenta, with the only energy exchange being nutrients and oxygen. These babies then entered the world ready to be trained as early as possible into independence and moulded by others into something of substance. I am certain that that attitude will go down as a shadow time in history.

If one looks at ancient cultures, the beliefs were vastly different and what was once “superstition” is being confirmed by science today.

Ancient aboriginals: In traditional aboriginal culture birth, earth and fire were the source of all ritual. Conception acknowledged the spirit of a new being and one of the foundational aspects of birth was that it would connect the new soul coming through to the land. The women of some villages would birthing in sacred birthing trees, safe inside the hollows of Boabs (or Baobab) leaning against the trunk for support. Others would birth in a depression in the sand, filled with warm ashes. There was a deep belief that a child needed to be connected to its land for lifelong mental and physical health.

Native American Indian: A belief that we have multiple souls was foundational to their way of life, with some tribes believing that the soul of a baby chose its mother.

The Himba Tribe: This Namibian tribe which still exists today, continues to be a source of anthropological study. They believe that the spiritual life of a child begins the moment its mother hears its song. This is what they consider the date of birth. When a woman decides she's going to have a child, she settles down and rests under a tree, and she listens until she can hear the song of the child who wants to be born. Once she hears this song, she comes back to the man who will be the father of the child and teaches him that song. And then, when they make love to physically design the child, they sing the song of the child, to invite him. She then continues to sing this song throughout her pregnancy. The midwives sing the song during the birth and the song continues to be sung throughout childhood and remains a source of strength and comfort for the rest of his/her life.

Swahili Tribe: The Swahili people have one word… “Matoto” which means ‘mother baby’, reflecting the notion that mother an baby are not two separate people, but are an interrelated dyad. They are connected physically, energetically and spiritually.

Indians: Those who follow the Ayurvedic tradition believe that consciousness is present in every cell, and as a baby develops this expands into self-awareness. The body is simply a vehicle for the soul. A conscious mother understands that her soul and the baby’s are spiritually connected. If she honours this connection and nurtures her baby, she makes the path easier for the child to connect to his/her spiritual nature.

While, for centuries, the beliefs of these cultures has been shunned by the west, condemned as witchcraft and mysticism, with attempts to destroy the rituals (in some instances even by removing the children from their tribes to westernise them), over the last few decades we are seeing a rebirth of knowledge that we are indeed more than just machines.

Research by perinatal psychologists like Dr Thomas Verny (I have included some of his talks on the Reel Deal page of videos) has been pivotal in bringing a reawakening of the deep knowledge in mothers that how they themselves are treated and how they nurture their bodies, mind, body and soul directly impacts the mind, body and souls of their children.

As such this course is not simply a body of birth theory. It is an invitation for you to give yourself, your partner and your other children to begin (if you haven’t already) daily exercises and rituals that will connect you to your baby’s energy and have you speaking a language of love that will impact the health of your child and your family and ultimately humanity.

Our souls do not speak human language: they communicate to us through symbols, metaphors, visions, poetry, deep feelings, and everyday magic

Tuning in to this soul language during pregnancy will eventually make communication with a newborn, toddler or child who does not have the words yet, so much easier. And it will continue beyond the days when they do start saying adorable words.

Journal Entries

A journal won’t simply serve as a sacred reminder of your journey, the process of writing freely is a beautiful meditative way of connecting with your baby and with your own feelings, whatever they may be. Any emotions you might consider negative, should not be seen as such or judged as wrong, instead allow them to guide you to where healing can be done and emotions released to make the birth journey lighter.

Use your journal to begin the beautiful open conversation that you and this little being will have for life.

Dear Baby…

Write a letter to your baby.

Write a letter to yourself.

Other journal suggestions:

• Our journey to conceiving you.

• How I discovered I was pregnant with you and how I felt. Note: Not everyone feels joy and bliss with this discovery. If your emotions were not elation, let this journal entry be a healing one in which you acknowledge your feelings without judgment and look at the emotions you felt and how you feel now.

• How I told First person I told that I was pregnant with you.

• The first time I heard your heartbeat

• The first time I felt you move.

If you can, speak to your mother and ask her to tell you the story of her pregnancy with you and your birth. Add this to your journal.

Nurturing The Six Senses and More

Self-care has become something of a buzz word in the last few years and, thanks to the media many women have come to see this as being spa days and babymoons. While these are indeed delicious treats, self love is deeper than this. It is daily intention to dedicate time to your health and your baby’s… however that looks for you, and it shouldn’t burst your budget (an unnecessary source of anxiety). Instead, use this time to look at ways in which you can embrace this glowing sensual stage of being a woman and your baby will be soaking up the energy and happy hormones you create as you do this.

Remember, all your senses (sight, smell, taste, hearing and intuition) will be heightened during pregnancy…one of the beautiful ways your body protects you and your baby.

Move Your Body

Prenatal yoga, walking, dancing… all of these provide opportunities to get your chi/prana/life force energy flowing, unblock any stagnant energy (including anxiety) and will enable you to tune deeper into your body and your baby.

Loving Touch

While you cannot touch your beautiful baby yet, do not underestimate your baby’s ability to feel you already. One of the most beautiful ways to connect, one that women instinctively do, is simply by rubbing your belly. Make it an intentional part of your day, by taking time to massage your expanding belly and boosting endorphins and oxytocin while you do it.

If you can, ensure that your products are free of Parabens, phthalates and other petrochemicals (endocrine disruptors), synthetic fragrances etc. Create a space to bond with candles. Get some beautiful natural massage oil (coconut, almond, avocado) and do self massage. If you want to add essential oils, ensure that they are safe for pregnancy. Orange and grapefruit oils are beautiful uplifting and safe essential oils to diffuse in your space throughout pregnancy.

Note: Avoid any detox protocol while pregnant. The reason is that these regimes may mobilise toxins for potential excretion. If you’re not pregnant this is fine, but while pregnant you and your baby are a unit. Previous thought was that the placenta was a wonder wall preventing anything reaching the baby and only allowing blood and nutrients through via the umbilical blood vessels. Recent testing via the EPA has discovered that this is not the case. They tested the umbilical cords of babies immediately after birth and discovered they contain over 200 toxins that the body cannot tolerate. 

So, while doing a detox while pregant is not a good idea, reducing toxins through healthy product choices and healthy food choices is highly beneficial. This will reduce the load and will reduce inflammation in the body. 

Savour your Pregnancy

See the linked page for nourishing guidance. .

Music

Around 17 weeks your baby’s hearing will develop. Remember, though, we are energy beings, so you don’t have to wait until 17 weeks to turn on the tunes. The vibrations will have an impact from the start. While there are recommendations that certain music should be played during pregnancy to supposedly boost your baby’s brain, remember that your baby has chosen to experience life with you in your fullness. Play music that you love. This will boost your field-good hormones and thus the baby’s and you may find that these songs go on to be calming favourites of your baby after birth.

Voice

Talking and singing is not only a wonderful way for your baby to hear your voice, the vibration of your voice will also clear stagnant energy in the body, fostering healthy energy flow for you and your baby.

It may seem a little odd reading to your bump, but this is another opportunity to hear your voice and begin the process of learning your language. Choose some books you will read to him/her once they are here. These may become bedtime favourites.

During this course, we will also look at vocal toning as a relaxation technique during birth.

Golden Silence

Quite moments of introspection, journaling or simply thinking about your baby with loving intention will shift the chemistry of your body, boosting oxytocin and flooding your baby with loving hormones. Writing down what you’re grateful for or simply lying in bed each evening and thinking about what you’re thankful for is a wonderful practice while pregnant. It brings your focus to the present moment and connects you with your own soul and your baby’s.

A simple thought is this…

Thank you beautiful body for this day of growth.
Thank you for your magnificent ability to grow and nurture this baby (these babies)

Rituals Over Routine

One thing that I’ve observed causes huge stress for new mothers is this feeling that they have to create a routine and live by a routine and adjust to a new routine. The anxiety that comes with focusing on a routine is twofold. One you are shifting your own biology by getting into your analytical brain rather than being open to hearing your and your baby’s cues. Be open to a season of your life in which changes are going to be rapid and weekly change is not a sign of failure but a sign of your baby developing and changing and this change is rapid. In one short year you will go from holding a helpless newborn to watching a little personality negotiating first steps and attempting first words. 

Instead of focusing on routine, I prefer to ask moms to make a list of rituals that bring them peace and allow them to breath and get perspective. So before baby arrives, take some time to write down rituals you love that will nurture you during those times where it does all seem a little out of your hands. 

Ritual ideas

1. Waking up each morning and connecting to your breath and your baby before anything else

2. Taking 5 minutes to enjoy a warm cuppa without distraction

3. Enjoy a beautiful bath each evening or once a week

4. Each time you plan on sitting down to do the course or meditate or journal, take some time to bring energy to the space. Light a.candle or make a cup of tea and let that be a signal that you are setting aside this time for this important part of your day.

5. Sitting with your partner each evening and both talking to the baby(s)

Remember!

None of this needs to be perfect!

Nothing and everything is perfect. Having a bad day is perfect if you can look at it and learn from it. Skipping self-care is perfect if it opens your eyes to the self-care you truly crave. Having a diva moment is perfect if you can step back from it and say: “Woah, what am I deep down really crying out for.”

Pregnant Pauses

Frequently take moments to pause and breathe. Three benefits…

1. You will be calming your nervous system.

2. You will be conditioning yourself to connect with your own body and your baby

3. You give yourself time to centre and realign. In doing that you allow your energetic body and soul to connect with the physical. When you have that connection, what is true for you is that much easier to sense.

Meditation

Six Senses Meditation

Blossoming Body Scan Meditation

The Partner’s Journey

If you have a partner in this pregnancy, remember that this is the birth of them as a parent too. And this is a journey that will impact them emotionally and even on a hormonal level. The arrival of a new little being can bring entirely new highs and also stresses to your relationship, so the earlier you are supporting each other to grow through this the better. And wherever you choose to birth, the experience will be infinitely easier if your partner is there to have your back and hold this space for you so that you can sink into birth without disruption.

In the current birth system, a birthing woman’s partner, needs to be prepared to be her “warrior” to ensure that she is not disregarded or bullied into unnecessary procedures. As such, this is an invitation to your partner to dive into the information in this course so they understand what your body is experiencing and how they can reduce any discomfort and support you during the birth.

When I first began teaching HypnoBirthing, it was quickly confirmed for me that most believed this is work only relevant to women. I will admit that after my miscarriage 11 years ago and then going through my first pregnancy, it did feel like the business of childbirth was something only women were expected to need and take note of, being educated ahead of childbirth was something that partners (possibly) tagged along to and even for mothers-to-be the details were limited.

In my own evolution, however, it has become glaringly apparent that if we’re going to shift global consciousness about how we value each other, we have to start at the beginning: how we bring our children into the world.

It has also become very clear to me that, while women’s bodies and their abilities are truly remarkable, many women are still not aware of the magnitude of this or know how to even begin to believe this. And, when it comes to birth, many partners are still unsure as to how to support them in achieving their goals and have no idea how valuable their loving presence is. And yes, their value does, and needs to, extend way beyond the bedroom.

While mothers without partners are by no means excluded, in the current birth environment the chances of a mother actualising her birth vision are more often than not pinned to the emotional support she has around her. ACOG (the American College of Obstetrics and Gynacologists) has noted in its guidelines that continuous one-to-one emotional support from care personnel is one of the key ingredients to reducing unnecessary intervention. While in an ideal world this would happen, in most medical settings staff change shifts frequently and the hug of any optimal safe space is frequently broken. Breaking the flow of labour. This is where partners are game changers.

But let’s be fair. The reality is that the notion of fathers needing to be present at their children’s births is so recent in history, we can almost still smell the cigar smoke from the pub. In my work, however, I get to see men discover that what they’ve been missing out on for centuries is more intoxicating than a hundred happy hours when they know how to contribute.

My business is seeing women finally have a deep sense of what their hormones, birthing muscles and breath do. And it’s seeing men’s eyes and minds open to the wonder of it.

My business is seeing women deeply relax and let fears go. And it’s seeing men acknowledge that they actually have their own fears and need to do this work to.

My business is seeing women put together a “toolkit” of techniques that they use to take them into their intuitive birthing bodies. And it’s seeing men say, I’ll carry that for you.

1. That he has an impact on his child’s health long before its physical arrival. His words, touch and support pre-birth are not only connecting them, his role in guarding a supported, stress-free space for the mother are laying foundations for the future mental health of his family.

2. That he is an active partner and gatekeeper for his child’s safe journey into the world. And knowing how to perform this role changes the whole experience of birth for a man. We have a long-standing assumption in society that men aren’t really interested in birth and are willing to leave things to the powers that be. One thing that men find most stressful (to the point of needing post-birth counselling) is that they feel helpless when their partners are in pain or in an emergency. Being educated on how you can

3. That he can “catch”… but let’s rather say receive his child.

4. He can cut the cord

Today’s father experiences a flood of bonding hormones with his child. Another shot that the pub can’t offer. One that lasts weeks. They’re the sort of hormones that are not ideal if we as a society are aiming for detached men who we can send off to battle. If we’re aiming for a society where the mental health of mothers, children… and men, is a priority then this experience is priceless.

He knows that he is an active and vital supporter of and contributor to the very beginning of another generation.

Journal Entry

DEAR BABY…

Write a letter to the baby, sharing your feelings and what type of parent you dream of being.

Roots of Connection

You may not be physically growing the baby, but your energetic presence is certainly felt and a connection is being made.

The tone of your voice: It is not uncommon for babies after a birth to turn to the partner when he/she speaks, in recognition of that familiar tone, so talking or singing to your partner’s belly throughout pregnancy is not in vain. If you feel silly or self-conscious, let that resistance go. The sillier the better. Those belly laughs are beautiful.

Loving touch: Just as the mother connects through touch, so can you. A beautiful way for you to bond as a couple is through massaging the belly with loving intention flowing through your hands.

Bath buddies: If you have a tub big enough, evening epsom salt or oil baths are a great way to unwind, watch little kicks beneath the skin and connect as a couple.

Massage

Foot Massage

Add 2-3 drops of lavender oil to 20 ml of base oil. Pop on your favourite show and give each other gentle foot massages in the evening.

Perineal Massage

While some pregnant women prefer to do this themselves, it is easier if it is done by a partner. This massage is ESSENTIAL but done ONLY from around 36 of pregnancy onwards specifically to tone and prepare the perineal tissues for the birth. The massage not only makes them more flexible, it will prepare you for the sensation of the stretching and while the massage is done you can practice your breathing and relaxation techniques.

The massage has been done for hundreds of years and is particularly important that you do this if you do any activity like dancing or horse riding that really tightens up your muscles. Benefits of doing this massage:

• It creates more space for the delivery of the baby’s head.

• It shortens the second stage of birth.

• It reduces chances of perineal or vaginal tears.

• Increasing flexibility now and reducing chance of tears will help ensure your tissue “springs back” quicker after birth. (I PROMISE IT DOES)

• Practicing this massage together will encourage you to let go of all inhibition. Being able to do this will make it that much easier to fully surrender to the birth experience, which will in turn reduce any discomfort.

For this massage, all you need is organic coconut oil. Purchase a new bottle to ensure there is no food contamination and then each time you do the massage simply scoop out a little into a clean container. Pop a little oil into warm hands and follow the technique. I recommend starting with a light touch back massage or foot and leg massage as “foreplay” before jumping right into this. This is an intimate massage and needs to be done with respect.

Technique:

Ensure your hands are clean and your nails are short. The mother should lie with her back propped up at a 45 degree angle. Insert one lubricated finger up to the first knuckle into the vagina. Mother should breathe in and as she exhales partner gently presses their finger back towards the coccyx. He/she should relax pressure as you inhale and increase pressure as you exhale. Do this 6 times, moving the pressure from 6 o’clock position to 4 o’clock position and then changing direction from 6 o’clock to 8 o’clock. This trains the tissues to open as you exhale. After a week you will feel more give in the tissues and will eventually be able to insert two fingers up to the second knuckle, stretching more tissue.

Time to Get Hormonal

While you as a partner, won’t be experiencing the same hormonal shifts as the mother of your child, understanding what is flooding her body and why will change your perspective and understanding. You won’t find yourself saying: “Oh you’re just hormonal.” once you understand the role these shifting hormones play and the heightened senses and intuition they support. If she is suddenly more sensitive or feels she does not want certain things or people in her space, those feelings are real and your relationship will be stronger if you can honour and support that.

(Talk about the perfect cocktail)

Your Own Hormonal Changes

During the course section later on birth itself, we will look at oxytocin in the birth room… how you can support it, and also the effect it has on your own bonding experience with your baby.

The Perfect Cocktail

While nausea and fatigue are obvious manifestations (I don’t like the word symptoms as pregnancy is by no means a pathology), beneath the surface other exquisite hormonal changes are occurring.

The moment conception occurred, hormonal changes will have triggered your body to produce a seal to close the entrance to your womb space. Medical staff and most books will refer to this as the mucous plug. Uterine seal is a nicer word. This seal is indeed a layer of jelly-like mucous (remarkably similar to kombucha skoby) that prevents pathogens entering. (See FAQs for more on this).

Oestrogen

This is the hormone that triggers ovulation and then remains elevated throughout pregnancy, promoting growth and increasing sensitivity.

Progesterone

This hormone promotes maintenance of the uterine lining.

Relaxin

Relaxin. This hormone is produced throughout pregnancy, relaxing and softening your ligaments to allow for expansion of the pelvic area. You will notice your hips slowly widen. We look at this in more detail in The Power of Your Body.

Levels of this hormone begin to rise right from the start of pregnancy, working to soften ligaments to facilitate expansion. While the expansion of the belly and pelvic space is obvious, it is not limited to there, and you may notice your shoes feeling smaller as your feet flatten a little more. Your ribs will also be able to expand (thank goodness). Don’t worry, it all returns to normal, gradually, in the months postpartum.

The relaxin flooding your system is also not just for your own benefit. It keeps your baby’s ligaments lovely and flexible so that it is comfortably contorted like a little Houdini for its passage into the world.

Oxytocin

The loooooove hormone! In the case of natural conception, this is the wonderful hormone that produced during intercourse. This hormone is never at higher levels in a woman’s life than when she is pregnant and then peak even higher before and throughout birth. It contracts the longitudinal muscles of the womb, which slowly shorten thicken and (in the absence of stress) easily open the cervix, and nudge the baby down.

Natural oxytocin (not the same as Pitocin) in the mother’s system, floods the baby's system, activating the baby’s own oxytocin receptors and putting the baby into a blissed out state, primed for bonding and breastfeeding.

Oxytocin, is a “shy” hormone and is levels drop if a woman does not feel safe, resulting in slowed or stalled labour. We look at ways to get oxytocin flowing again in the section on bringing on birth.

NOTE: When a mother is producing natural oxytocin her brain will be in the relaxed theta frequency needed for birth. Pitocin (synthetic oxytocin) takes her out of this state. Epidural medication also disrupts oxytocin production.

Oxytocin production turns on best in the presence of melatonin.

Melatonin

You will know melatonin as the hormone that regulates sleep. We produce it at night, and it is no coincidence that birth most often begins at night and that birth flows smoother when a woman births in a cosy, dimly lit environment.

Renowned French obstetrician Michel Odent’s most recent work reveals that a hospital setting in which bright lights (especially LED blue light that inhibits melatonin production) are permanently on or being repeatedly turned on for unnecessary checks, is not conducive to birth.

Endorphins

You’ve heard of endorphins and runner’s high. It is no different in birth. In the absence of stress your body will begin to flood your system with these… nature’s pain relief. Your body is stretching and opening up in ways it hasn’t experienced before, but your system knows exactly how to respond and these endorphins act in exactly the same way surgical morphine would - but without the harmful side-effects. They kick in during active labour… right at the point you feel its all too much, flooding you with energy and strength.

What you don’t want in the mix

Catecholamines (stress hormones). These are the hormones your body produces in the presence of danger… real or perceived. Danger, being any situation or experience that triggers stress, anxiety or fear in the mother, shifting her brain waves from relaxed into high alert beta brain wave state. She begins to produce her body’s fight, flight or freeze hormones.

Consider for a moment what would happen if you were enjoying beautiful intimate intercourse with your partner and someone walked into the room, turned on the lights and told you they needed to see how you were progressing. For most people that would be the moment TURNED RIGHT OFF. THAT, is exactly what happens when a woman is interrupted in birth, and the existing settings do it by their very design.

Adrenaline

This hormone contracts the circular muscles of the uterus which should be relaxing and dilating. This stalls progressing and results in painful contractions and fatal distress.

Pitocin

While there are times in which Pitocin is required in a NECESSARY induction. It is important that mothers, however, are aware of the impact oxytocin has on their system. While natural oxytocin works on the longitudinal muscles and the circular muscles in synthesis. Pitocin only works on the longitudinal muscles. The result is painful contractions.

Savouring Pregnancy

While nutritionists have confirmed that this is not the case, the notion that “I’m eating for two” is something many pregnant women believe, along with the idea that pregnancy is a hall pass to indulging in whatever cravings strike, with processed food being a quick fix.

It is, however, only when breastfeeding that a mother needs to really up her calorie intake. No extra calories are needed during the first trimester. And for the remainder of the pregnancy, focus should be on simply ensuring you are eating a varied, nutritionally dense diet. This does not have to be pricey superfoods. Rather choose whole foods - organic where possible - that are culturally appropriate for you.

Being given a long list of what you shouldn’t eat is also, I believe, unhealthy to the psyche. I feel a more healthful, grounded approach is a simple one:

EAT A RANGE OF VIBRANT NUTRIENT DENSE FOOD THAT IS GROWN OR PRODUCED WITH INTEGRITY AND LOVE.

The saying “Eat The Rainbow” could not be more important than when you are growing one or more little energetic beings. Adding an abundance of vibrant fruit and vegetables to your meals nourishes you on every level and every chakra. Each time you cook or eat, take a moment to consider the energy that you are bringing to this.

Protein - Ensure you consume good quality protein (whether that is animal or plant-based is entirely up to you) - which has been shown to reduce chances of suffering from pre-eclampsia.

Vitamin D

Include vibrant raw food in the final trimester. You will find you have abundant energy, good levels of vital K and reduced bleeding after the birth.

Nourishing Mindfulness

Years ago, I was watching Madhur Jaffrey talking about Indian cuisine on a cooking show. She explained that in every home, even when the same meal was being prepared, it would always taste different as each mother’s spice mix was a little different and the energy she brought to her cooking brought its own dimension.

Understanding what we know about energy healing today, I believe every mother should know that she herself is an energy healer. Simply holding loving intention while preparing and cooking your meals is more powerful than you could possibly know.

When cooking, put some music on or sing and smile while you are preparing your meals. Notice how your body feels when you smile.

Before you eat, whatever it may be. Sit down, and hold your hands either in prayer or lovingly on your belly. Relax your face, relax your jaw, relax your shoulders and allow your eyes to gently close as relaxation drifts through you. Breathe easy, noticing your breath.

Say: I bless my body and my baby with this food. I am grateful for this opportunity to grow these babies and the experience of seeing my body grow. I feel the vibrant energy of this food as it nourishes each cell in my body. My baby and I are healthy.

Reducing Inflammation

Obstetrician Dr Gowri Motha, made an interesting observation when she discovered that her celiac (ie gluten intolerant) patients had easier births. Her conclusion was that, without inflammatory wheat in their diets, their entire systems, and thus birth canals, were less inflamed. My suggestion is to listen to your body. If you consume wheat and feel bloated or find that you become constipated or even experience haemorrhoids, stop the gluten and see how your body responds.

I have listed her book on the Recommended Reading page as it is a great reference if you are interested in an Ayurvedic approach to pregnancy. Ayur means “life” and veda means “science”. This ancient medical system is increasingly being revisited for its holistic approach in supporting both the physical, emotional and energetic dimensions of motherhood through diet and more.

Should I detox while pregnant?

I have attached a great article by Doctor Aviva Romm to help you understand the impact of toxins in the body on our babies. Note, however, that detoxing WHILE pregnant is never recommended as you mobilise your own stored toxins into the blood and these are then able to circulate into your baby’s system. The old story of the placenta is a barrier that “only blood and oxygen and nothing else gets through” has been thoroughly debunked. As you are already pregnant, use this article rather to bring awareness to the ways you can reduce toxins now from entering your system and placing added load.

(https://avivaromm.com/detox-before-getting-pregnant/?fbclid=IwAR1CJXTGgBGP5L_3AB0IfXbT0CoL2Y-Q3Qz3r1aCJ8ZEC1qye_53LgFdjtI)

Hydration

Maseru Emoto

90% water

Bless your water.

Hold your water and feel the energy flowing between you. If you feel any tension in an area of your body, that is an energy block that you can tap or breathe into.

You are a being in a state of perpetual who desires to be in flow, growing another being who came here to live in flow. One of the key elements required for this is, naturally water.

Now, as important as hydration is for your body, remember that your requirements are not necessarily the same as another woman’s requirements. We are unique. So rather consume as much as your body needs. ie ensure your urine is pale yellow (not clear). You don’t want to be flushing all the beautiful vitamins and minerals you’re consuming right out.

 Affirmations for Pregnancy & Birth

Affirmations are one of the many powerful ways of shifting the way you perceive and respond to things in life, and pregnancy and birth is no exception.

If you are new to the idea, I have listed some here so that you can choose ones that resonate with you.

Ways to use them

1. Write them out onto post-it notes, or make it an art project, writing them onto cards in paint with beautiful designs. If you have other children, let them join you and make it a family project, creating in love and anticipation for the new addition. The act of writing them yourself will make this more intentional, mindful and meaningful to you and will allow the words to begin to sink into your subconscious from the start.

2. Stick them around the house so that you see them frequently. Your homework becomes effortless as you read them again and again and the message becomes part of your belief system.

3. Stand in front of the mirror and say a different one each morning or evening.

4. As you go to bed, choose one that speaks to you and say it to yourself. As you wake up the next morning, let it be the first thing that you say to yourself. Your brain will still be in theta state, a brainwave frequency in which we can rapidly reprogram. It is essentially hypnosis state. So while most people will reach for their phones and start plugging in everyone else’s news and perspectives and dramas, rather us these precious minutes to connect with your highest self and your baby and give yourself an empowering pep talk.

5. Record them in your own voice and then listen to them while you are falling asleep or meditating.

6. Make your affirmations relevant so that they anchor better in your subconscious. Eg. Stick affirmations about your powerful body in your bathroom, stick one about your beautifully nourished body in the kitchen etc.

7. Have them with you at your birth and stick them up on the walls so that you are not only surrounded by familiarity, you can read them and bring yourself back to centre if you are distracted. Having the ones painted or drawn by your other children is a powerful way to bring you back to love.

Grounding Affirmations

As I connect to Mother Earth I connect to her infinite wisdom

As I connect to the earth my baby and I are connected to the beauty and goodness in all things

As I connect to Mother Earth she nourishes and nurtures me and my baby

As I connect to the earth I am rooted in her healing, life bringing energy

CLOSER TO BIRTH from 36 weeks

As I ground in Mother Gaia I relax, my muscles relax and and my baby moves head down into the optimal position for birth.

Womb space affirmations

My pregnancy is a beautiful journey

As I connect to the earth and her nourishing energy, I nourish my growing baby with abundance

As I connect to the earth, her energy nourishes each cell in my growing body and my baby’s

I am one with my body and my baby

Heart Space Affirmations

I begin each day with a thankful heart

My heart knows the way

Throat Chakra Affirmations

I voice my needs with confidence

I voice my desires with confidence

I am mother, hear me roar

Higher Connection Affirmations

As I connect to Mother Gaia/Sophia I am connected to the wisdom of motherhood

As I connect to Mother Gaia/Sophia, I connect to the power of all mothers before me

I am mother

I am evolving

I am transforming divinely

I embrace every stage of my evolution

Affirmations For The Birth Journey

I ground in Gaia and feel the gravity of her love

I see an easy path for myself and my baby

I am so excited for this birth

I am ready

As I ground myself I feel the power of the universe flow through me

I trust my body

My body is relaxed

I am safe, I am secure

I am supported

My muscles move in perfect harmony

My cervix opens gently and easily as my baby moves down

I ground and allow Mother Nature to guide us

Birth is beautiful

I listen to my body’s whispers and let them guide me

I breathe deeply into my womb, nourishing my muscles and my baby

Each wave brings my baby closer to me

With each wave I relax more and surrender

Writing your own affirmations

1. It must be meaningful for you.

Affirmations for me or your best friend may not be the best affirmation for you. We all have our own inner voice and you know how to give yourself a pep talk. As you go through your pregnancy, any time you hear yourself talking yourself down, or find yourself being talked down, make a note of an affirmation you could use to shift your thinking.

2. It must be affirmative and precise

Remember, “do or not do, there is no try.” The subconscious mind does not register the word “try” and it does not interpret "I want” or “I’d like to” as something that is taking place within you but rather as simply a desire, so remove these terms from your conversations… with others or yourself.

3. It must be positive

Affirmations are always phrased as. “I am” or “I will” or “I do”… and anything after those two words becomes a part of your personal story and reality. If you hear someone say something negative, or yourself, don’t judge them, rather, mentally say a positive affirmation and transmute that negative image or situation into a positive one for growth.

4. Repetition

Repeating your affirmations is key to creating the vision you desired outcome.

A beautiful poem from the book The Red Tent by Anita Diamant

Fear not the time is coming
Fear not, your bones are strong
Fear not, help is nearby
Fear not, Gaia is near
Fear not, the baby is at the door
Fear not, he will live to bring you honour
Fear not, the hands of the midwife are clever
Fear not, the earth is beneath you
Fear not, we have water and salt
Fear not, little mother
Fear not, mother of us all

The Red Tent